Megachurch or bust?

Posted on Sunday, 11 July, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

About a week ago, I read the article Defining Church Growth for Traditional Anglicans: Leaving behind failed models of church growth for new ones. I wondered whether it would inspire some thoughts from me. It didn’t. Then this came up: The Church is abandoning its flock, the CofE’s great leap forward will cull clergy and abandon parishioners by Giles Fraser. I found this in Unherd, the group of people with critical minds about our slow descent to Orwellian Dystopia and living hell.

Already for Nietzsche in the nineteenth century, there was something very wrong with institutional Christianity. I keep quoting Alan Watts about the Church having lost its way from the notion of spiritual life. It is odd to hear about some of the clerical elite calling for a de-clericalised church that should sell off the buildings. Rest assured that the elite would change form but still hold the purse strings! Only the appearance of the bureaucracy would change. The medieval church is sold and the rich person’s lounge becomes the new church. Who else has enough space for the crowds of “vibrant” worshippers. It all drips with cynicism.

The church is not called to be successful. It is called to be faithful. I would prefer for us to die with dignity, being faithful to our calling, rather than to turn ourselves inside out trying to be superficially attractive, thus abandoning the faith as we have understood it.

The first article I mentioned is from a Continuing Anglican source (the second concerning the Church of England). The American scene is so different from what we have in the UK and even less in Continental Europe. The author of this article is critical of marketing methods as I have always been. I do quite a lot of translations of texts about corporate management, leadership of teams and projects. If that kind of collectivism enters the Church, that is the end of human spiritual life. Why bother?

What is important is quality, not quantity. The author tries to resume his recommendation in several points. I add my own words to his theme titles.

Authenticity. Let’s cut the crap and decide what we believe in.

Inspiration. People are inspired by different things. Again, we can begin by being ourselves and honest.

Beauty and Mystery. This is mainly manifested through liturgy, resisting the urges of philistinism, the “cancelling” of beauty, yet avoiding exaggerated rubricism. Naturally, beauty will only be appealing in a world that is mostly concerned only with money and what money can buy. You don’t throw pearls to swine!

An emphasis on mystery, paradox and interiority are antidotes to cold rationalism, and empty materialism.

These are the very thoughts of Romanticism.

Meaning and Purpose. Frankly, I find very little in the way of meaning of life in the average parish. It is much easier in the village where I live. The church is open every day, which is a complement to the person who keeps the key. I suspect it is more to keep the building dry rather than anything else. I often visit the church to go to a discreet place and pray. I haven’t seen anyone else doing the same thing. The church is only used for funerals and those are rarely conducted by priests. It is quite heartbreaking, but there is still some love for this Romanesque building and its baroque altars. Memento mori. The cemetery is beautifully maintained here, though, sadly, some graves have been abandoned and forgotten for decades. The remains will be removed and buried in the common grave, and the spaces will be made available for new burials. Ironically, a church reduced to the burial of the dead reminds us all of that one certitude, our mortality. Are we machines to be thrown away when we don’t work any more? Is there a consciousness that transcends both life and death and which eludes both reason and imagination? Perhaps the old church is still doing its job by its mere presence and the lay people working with the undertakers to ensure a decent burial for all.

Authority. There will be authority for as long as there is law and consequences for not observing the terms of the social contract. My freedom to swing my fist is limited by where your nose begins. Authority exists for the common good, though it often falls into the hands of the unworthy and unscrupulous. It therefore has to be subject to criticism and accountability. It is the same with Popes, Archbishops of Canterbury, Patriarchs and Metropolitans, clergy of every denomination and religion. The most important is the purpose of this authority and what it upholds.

Christ-likeness. What was Christ like? We have the Gospels as witnesses, but interpretation is not always easy. Most of us think of kindness and forgiveness, willingness to suffer rather than make others suffer. I tend to think of the paradox, the Sign of Contradiction, being oneself rather than following fashions and collective thinking. I don’t think we will solve it all in a few words. I think of the contrast between the Grand Inquisitor of Dostoyevsky and Christ who was in the place of the heretic on trial for his life. Who was the most Christian, Christ himself or the Cardinal taking advantage of his power having “cancelled” the freedom of the little people?

In his Charge to Synod yesterday, Bishop Damien Mead spoke of future-proofing the Church. That can mean good material stewardship, but it above all means our fidelity even if we end up doing little more than bury the dead. I believe we can still do more and be a small worshipping community of the living.

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Rigid Repression of Rigidity

Posted on Thursday, 1 July, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

Should I comment about this subject? Is it just a blind alley of cognitive dissonance? In the end, perhaps I may be able to contribute positively. The article on which I base my reflections today is Pope calls for an end to ‘intransigent defense of tradition’.

I am as much against abortion as any other human being who seeks to defend the sanctity of life, from both Christian and humanist points of view. However, there is a way to dealing with these questions from the study of moral theology and ethics, politics, medicine and sociology. When we have groups of fanatical people banging the same drum, with the effect of the Chinese Water Torture, the cause somewhat loses its credibility. We are dealing with a new wave of puritanism, just the same as with Woke and all the other single-issues that are subjects of obsession and extreme intolerance. It is a very frightening tendency especially when we read the history of the 1920’s with the rise of Fascism, Nazism and Stalinism.

Many do uphold the older forms of the liturgy with the same mentality, and often converging with these moral issues, especially regarding homosexuality, gender identity and a particularly narrow idea of the Christian family. I have been to the USA four times in my life, once to stay with a friend in Baltimore, twice to be of service to a chivalric order in Tennessee and once to a traditionalist chapel and its bishop in Florida. I hardly scratched the surface of American conservatism or integralism. I was once a seminarian in an American community in Rome founded by Msgr John McCarthy who had worked in the Roman Curia and was particularly bothered by “liberal” or demythologising biblical exegesis. We had the Pauline liturgy in Latin and celebrated in a conservative way, suggestive of the way Anglo-Catholic priests in the nineteenth century “interpreted” the 1662 Book of Common Prayer. Indeed, the priest who celebrated our community Mass most days was Australian and a convert from Anglicanism. He was one of the few joys in this community lodged at the Czech College still in the Communist era. I saw the sadness on the faces of those men who had sacrificed everything for their vocations, and it reflected in this American community with other concerns in regard to secular and post-Christian society. These men were not the worst of radicalised Catholics. Even as far back as then, I was reacting away from Aristotelian and Thomistic realism and seeking something that recognised the human spirit outside these categories.

Previously, with the Society of St Pius X (I left them around Easter 1983), I found radicalised and rigid attitudes, conspiracy theorists, people with binary thinking that was so far removed from the reality of most of us. In France, political ideas were more or less founded on those of Charles Maurras and Action Française. There were the monarchists divided between the Orléanistes and the Légitimistes. It all seemed new to me in 1981, but the idea of restoring the French Monarchy would be something like restoring the Stuart dynasty in England and having the USA back in the British Empire! All the same, these dreams seemed as nothing compared to the truly sinister collectivist ideas of those who would take the places of Hitler, Mussolini and Franco – burning heretics as in bygone centuries. When people professing to be Christians hold the same fundamental discourse as Dostoievsky’s Grand Inquisitor, what can be done?

From what I am reading about Pope Francis and the so-called “rigid” Catholics, I am brought into the presence of another form of integralism – repression. Thesis – antithesis – synthesis. We have the dialectical clash of opposites which only brings out more hatred and radical opinions.

Pope Francis is a Jesuit. Their spirituality is based on Renaissance Christian Humanism and gentleness. At the same time, any means is justified to advance Christendom. Many lessons are learned through the book and the film The Mission, about the Guarani missions in what today is Brazil in the 1750’s. We see the contrast between Cardinal Altamirano in his political pragmatism and scruples of conscience, Father Gabriel the gentle contemplative and missionary and the aggressive Rodrigo Mendoza who had repented of killing his brother in a duel. How was everyone to react in the face of Portuguese imperialism and rationalist anti-clericalism? Altamirano chose to negotiate, Gabriel appealed to the oppressor by holiness and beauty, the Blessed Sacrament, and remembered that he was there as a priest. Mendoza decided to fight with the arms he had abandoned on his conversion. Jesuits use a military analogy in their rigid and blind obedience to authority, especially the Pope. It comes from piety and self-denial, but assumes the goodness and purity of intention of the authority, which is – human. This would be a simplistic way of understanding the present Pope, which would require a profound study of his preaching and writings.

Repression will not be the answer, even though I can sympathise with the Fr Gabriel in him. However, radicalism is not cured by repression or abolition of various concessions by Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI. A return to the status quo of c. 1976 when Paul VI suspended Archbishop Lefebvre would seem to be unrealistic. That was 45 years ago, and there is less in the coffers to keep the institution going.

St. Paul was liberated from “the most oppressive form of slavery, which is slavery to self,” stated the Pope. Not only this, but Paul was “set free from the religious fervour that had made him a zealous defender of his ancestral traditions (cf. Gal 1:14) and a cruel persecutor of Christians.”

There may be something of a Dostoievsky in Pope Francis who seems to observe the enmity between the profound spirit of Christ and religious intolerance. Are we going to beat intolerance with intolerance as did the Jacobins in the 1790’s as cartloads of people were taken to the guillotine? The dividing line is very fine between inquisitor and inquisitor!

Formal religious observance and the intransigent defence of tradition, rather than making him open to the love of God and of his brothers and sisters, had hardened him: he was a fundamentalist.

We find here unjustified stereotyping and binary thinking. What is tradition? There is no single or simple answer. What is fundamentalism? Is it a literalist way of reading Scripture or an American form of European integralism? Many of these distinctions are glossed over by the “simple” Jesuit. To be a Christian, you have to free yourself from tradition. Why not go further and tell people that they have no longer to be bound by the institutional Church. All of a sudden, there are fewer butts in the pews and less money to keep the institution going. I wonder if that would be the thing to do in a revolutionary and nihilistic act of destruction followed by building something new, a total reboot. Would not such a destruction of Christian tradition be followed by atheism or recourse to another religion?

We too have been touched by the Lord; we too have been set free. Yet we need to be set free time and time again, for only a free Church is a credible Church.

Yes and no. What is that free Church? Unfortunately a free Church is something like the Methodists or Continuing Anglicanism. Were Pope Francis to encourage that, he has only to step down, give the Vatican to Turkey and leave the rest of us to live our faith in our little communities. I wonder who would pay his pension, because most of us “non-conformists” have to earn our own living by work and living very invisibly in the world.

I think that most of us would agree that we have to live our faith from the inside-outwards rather than in the manner of the Scribes and Pharisees.

Like Paul, we are called to be set free from hypocritical outward show, free from the temptation to present ourselves with worldly power rather than with the weakness that makes space for God, free from a religiosity that makes us rigid and inflexible; free from dubious associations with power and from the fear of being misunderstood and attacked.

Is this Cardinal Altamirano or Fr Gabriel? Or is this the imperialistic ambition of the Portuguese king with his masonic and anti-clerical tendencies? I am all for Christianity without worldly power or being determined by other people’s sins. However, Francis seems quite oblivious to anything positive to replace the rigidity and intolerance. He seems little concerned with anything other than his own status as Pope and source of everything.

It may be easy to preach to my own chapel, but I personally suffered from the kind of rigidity he denounced, but the remedy is not a new bout of iconoclasm and repression of the old liturgy. Benedict XVI’s answer was the openness of which he was capable with a love of beauty and man’s deepest desire, the beauty of the liturgy that is an icon of God’s love. Hatred cannot be answered by repression but by love.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Has not Pope Francis thought of celebrating Masses in the old rite and seeking to win the hearts of those intolerant and rigid people, to warm them from the inside? Only warmth will melt ice. Only light will dissipate darkness.

Today too there is no shortage of preachers who, especially through the new means of communication, can disturb communities. They present themselves not primarily to announce the Gospel of God who loves man in Jesus, Crucified and Risen, but to insist, as true ‘keepers of the truth’ — so they call themselves — on the best way to be Christians.

Beware, Your Holiness, lest you fall into the same trap of the Evil One…

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Liturgical Wars

Posted on Wednesday, 16 June, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

I have not commented on the recent reports about Pope Francis wanting to restrict the older Roman liturgy in opposition to the legislation of his predecessor Benedict XVI. It is not my war, but I am ready to listen to those who have a balanced and evidence-based judgement. One such person is Dom Alcuin Reid who has published some of my own work in the T&T Companion to Liturgy. He has just published an article On liturgical wars and rumors of wars.

Dom Alcuin begins by saying that a level of concern exists in the traditionalist Roman Catholic world. I am now very out of touch with this world, even in France where there was the most resistance to the liturgical reforms of the 1960’s and 70’s, especially that of Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre and his Society of St Pius X. The Fraternity of St Peter and the Institute of Christ the King have been most successful is assembling people of a conservative mindset who bring up large families. Many of those people go on retreats to the various religious communities and monasteries of the same general tendency that often colludes with far right-wing political opinions.

Like in the political world, the traditionalists and the diocesan establishment have placed themselves in quite rigid ideologies. We are fifty years on from 1971 and the apologists for the liturgical reforms still talk of “renewal” and “return to pristine sources”. The situation in most parish churches outside the cities reminds me somewhat of the eighteenth century in England against which the first aspirations of Methodism and Anglo-Catholicism reacted. One big problem in the Roman Catholic Church is its rigid authority structure, something like Erastianism in England in the days when Ritualist vicars were sent to prison for non-compliance to the 1662 Prayer Book. The ideological parallels continue.

I appreciate Dom Alcuin’s reflection on sectarianism and the ghetto mentality among some traditionalists. At the same time, it is not easy to cultivate tolerance in the face of clerical intolerance of diocesan bishops and bureaucracies. There are problems with the way clergy are trained in some of the seminaries. The implications are quite clear, especially measured by my own experience, when I read the words self-serving narcissism in clergy and content to live in a gilt cage decorated according to the tastes of their preferred century in history. These strong indictments are not only targeted against priests celebrating the Pius V liturgy. I saw it in the faces and manners of some of the cassock-wearing clergy I saw in their little groups at Pontmain – closed to the world.

Dom Alcuin sees things as a monk – One of the first tests of a young man seeking to enter the monastic life is to see whether he is capable of hard manual work without complaint. Monastic life can also involve totalitarian control and breaking of persons. I very much agree, and it is why I appreciate the fact that my Church does not have the resources to pay stipends to the clergy, but that we must earn our own living through work unless we are retired and on a pension. Our clergy are not afraid to be in civil dress when “off-duty” or socialising with people for reasons other than church. There are situations when the cassock is appropriate and when it is not. I have expressed my ideas about clergy training, which is just about what we do in the Anglican Catholic Church – have men do serious studies and be involved in parish ministry for their “apprenticeship”. There are problems associated with married candidates, but this issue is beyond my ability to express myself with credibility.

I do think that were the Roman authorities to restore the status quo of the 1970’s, many would revolt as people kick back against what may be excessive Covid lockdown measures in the countries where we live. Such measures against the old liturgy would undermine their authority. Blind obedience is no longer a part of the Roman Catholic ethos.

The article is interesting but struck me by its irrelevance to my present life. I am no longer in that French traditionalist world, but I am isolated as an Anglican in a place where there is no interest in Anglicanism. One can’t have it both ways. Thus you will see our clergy as much in suits and ties or casual dress as cassocks, and celebrating ancient forms of liturgy and referring to other times in history when Christianity meant more in the world. We socialise in a world where “churchy” things put people off because of the negative associations. Should there arrive a real persecution of Christianity in the future, we need to be able to become scarlet pimpernels and live in the catacombs.

One day, things will become clear to us whichever institutional Church we belong to.

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Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi Christian University

Posted on Tuesday, 15 June, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

We often read about drifts in the great Universities of Europe and the British Isles. Some are not true as official policy, but some professors have been influenced by Woke and its desire to “cancel culture”. We do have to be careful about what we believe and adopt a prudent attitude in the absence of real evidence.

Perhaps on the other hand, we should be aware of the influence of some fine philosophers in the task of education of school children and university students alike. As I discovered the German Romantic philosopher Novalis, I read about his notion of Bildung in German education. Novalis was not the only one to express such ideas, but I think this is a good mind to approach. Another was none other than Newman in his Idea of a University.

The Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi Christian University exists to teach us to think and be purposeful, not go along with some ideology of mass humanity. Novalis was very close to Fichte who was deeply influenced by Kant. Philosophy aims to bring us to know ourselves.

True idealism, Novalis claims, is not opposed to realism, but only to formalism.

A proper account of the self, in its relation to itself, should consider the self’s development in and through history as well as its externalizing of itself in the encounter with other minds and nature. Novalis did not invent Bildung – education in and through culture, but developed it. It brings the student to become mature and self-understanding. It brings a capacity to make a reasoned judgement. Novalis’ Romanticism consisted of bringing ourselves to a state of critical self-understanding. We cannot do this work alone but in a spirit of commitment to the wider community in a tradition of history, science and art. There is a traditionalist dimension, but one that is tempered by critical reasoning and a desire to understand history. Another dimension of Bildung is the dialogue with the other’s point of view, not the usual way in our days of opinionated persons shouting others down in a narcissistic rage. It is designed as a remedy to prejudice and bigotry.

A real understanding of education is a challenge to authoritarianism, to dead letter and formalism. The Enlightenment is needed to challenge excesses of traditionalism and Romanticism is needed as a counterweight to dry and formal rationalism.

In the website of this recent academic foundation in America, the emphasis given by the Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi Christian University is on the notion of a community of scholars. This University is explicitly Christian, believing in human persons as spiritual beings and the profound dignity and worth of all human persons. The Christian humanism is plain. The love of beauty, truth, goodness and justice is Platonic. The thought of Fr Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi comes exactly from the era of German Romanticism and Idealism. As Novalis had said, Idealism is not opposed to Realism but formalism, the fixed and fossilised mind. I find here a philosophy of education than pleases me.

The existence of this University is real and it has shown its favour to the Anglican Catholic Church by awarding Bishop Damien Mead a Doctorate honoris causa. Fr Jonathan Munn, with his doctorate in mathematics,  is also a graduate in theology with his Masters degree. As a community, we build each others’ credibility and esteem for our talents in study and thought. This University was only founded recently but is not a “degree mill”. It is allowed by the State of Florida to award its own degrees in a certain range of studies, but it does not award secular degrees like medicine or law. It is honest about not having the same kind of accreditation as many of the older universities. Perhaps such a status might be obtained in the future, but what is important to me is the philosophical foundation of this educational institution.

Why study with this University? For me personally, I am 62 years of age and have no ambition to a career requiring a degree. I do believe that I do have some things to “prove” so that I can get the community interested in some of my own concerns, including my little Sarum group in England which has been put on hold because of the Covid pandemic. There needs to be a very different kind of liturgical science than nit-picking ancient fragments and using them to decorate make it up as you go along contemporary “expressions”.  That is the point on which my own tutor at Fribourg and I disagreed, even if I was too a priori and set in my traditionalist ideas. I do believe that academia needs new foundations and new philosophies to challenge the formalism and authoritarianism of the old universities.

I think I can help in a small way to put this University on the map. Another thing I like about it is its European ethos despite being an American foundation. There is a lot to build on.

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Notre Dame de Pontmain

Posted on Monday, 24 May, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

It is a long time since I made a pilgrimage to a place of Marian apparitions. I had previously been to Lourdes and Fatima, and was struck by the intensity of people offering their prayers and asking for favours, especially healing from sickness.

Pontmain is less known, but is nearer my home in the direction of Brittany. Its history is set in 1871 during the Franco-Prussian War declared by Napoleon III in 1870. Pontmain was then a tiny village of some 500 inhabitants, typical of many places around here in the Mayenne. Two young boys were helping their parents do some work in their barn. When one, Eugène, looked out of the door towards the starry sky, he saw an apparition of a woman wearing a blue gown covered with golden stars, and a black veil under a golden crown. The full story can be seen here.

On the same evening, the Prussian army ceased to advance towards Laval under superior orders. This apparition marked the end of the war. The apparition was quickly approved by the Bishop of Laval and the parish priest of Pontmain. This place is associated with a sign of hope in the midst of war. Quite a few pilgrims from Germany visit the shrine as well as those of us living nearby. Indeed, I heard German spoken by some people around me as I found a place in the church to spend what I hoped would be a quiet moment.

It was Pentecost Sunday and there were about a hundred people on the square in front of the church. There were two bishops in copes and mitres. I noticed how conservatively they were vested. There were many young men in cassocks and religious habits and also a large number of nuns and sisters. There had been the Synod of the Diocese of Laval. There had been a ceremony in the church and they quickly moved to the hall where they would have their meeting and talk business.

My own impression was that there were many people engaged in their prayers for this or that intention, as I was. There were a few strangely dressed people with a behaviour that suggested some degree of fanaticism or crankiness. I was not in clerical dress for the reason of avoiding being noticed and asked the usual questions of what community I belonged to or what I was doing in France being an Anglican. At the same time, the young men in cassocks and religious habits talked in small groups seemingly impervious to any world around them. The cassocks seemed to indicate the Communauté Saint-Martin who are charged with a parish in Laval. These are not traditionalists but conservative mainstream Roman Catholics.

I felt quite alienated from this ecclesiastical world and found it best to have decided to dress casually and anonymously. Going into the shrine church, many people were chatting in groups like in the supermarket, completely oblivious to anyone who might want to pass through the group blocking the way. We were all wearing masks as required by the Covid crisis. What I felt around this community of diocesan Catholics was an invisible wall, them inside and the rest of us hardly even existing. That was just an impression. I talked with no one, recognised no one, and reminded myself that I was not there to meet people but to combine a pilgrimage with an afternoon away from home.

Is there a certain hollowness in this expression of Christianity? Who am I to judge? Am I any different from them? I doubt it, apart from my feeling of alienation from a Church I never really converted to. I surmised that I might feel the same way in Walsingham with a pilgrimage of Church of England people. Yet, Pontmain is much less crowded than Lourdes and Fatima. They are places that concentrate practising Catholics, the curious and those who are seeking help for particular problems, especially health. I went with the idea of sitting somewhere quietly to say Vespers, but there were too many people, too much bustling and too much noise. The breviary stayed in my pocket.

I returned home feeling quite unfulfilled, even though I had expected little. Again it is the question of those who need other people to find spiritual energy, and others who find it within themselves and their solitude with God. Is there any real difference between a place where something miraculous happened in the past and any other place? Historical events do leave their imprint in a place. I found the same thing in reverse with places associated with evil like Dachau concentration camp near Munich or Oradour sur Glane where the SS murdered the entire population of the village. However, here in Pontmain, the beauty and grace of Our Lady seemed to be elusive, almost as if it had “worn away”.

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Mendelssohn Flies Away…

Posted on Sunday, 23 May, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

I wrote the article O for the Wings of a Dove a few months ago at a time when my life was becoming increasingly conflictual. Finally the dove flew away and found its dovecote. In that little article, I reflected on the relationship between solitude and loneliness. I was not alone but lonely.

A part of my choice of a place to live in the Mayenne countryside was financial, another part was the calmness of an independent house as opposed to a flat in a block of identical flats. Mostly, it came from a conviction that I was a mess mentally and spiritually. I got into that mess in 2005 when my thought was much less mature and I believed that an intimate relationship was desirable.

As my dis-ease evolved over the years, I sought to understand a number of currents of thought like Romanticism. Emerson’s Self Reliance has also confirmed many of my own instincts. This essay has been translated into French under the title Confiance en Soi, Self Confidence. Where is the dividing line between such inner strength and sinful pride and selfishness? We are brainwashed in our corporate and collectivist world to eschew such individualism and seek relationships and social contact at all cost. After all, man is a social species like many others.

In Christian spirituality, there are alone-times that are recommended. The ultimate is the hermit, the contemplative solitary. On a more temporary basis, there is the retreat which is possible in a monastery guest house or alone in nature with a backpack and a tent. Most years since I learned to sail, I have been on a dinghy cruising journey both to enjoy nature the way very few people do and to live that jewel of solitude. When we are on our own, it is a test that can be painful or consoling – it depends on what state we are in. When we go into ourselves, what will we find? God? Evil spirits? Nothingness? If we find nothing within, from there comes the illusion of having to find what we are looking for in another person. That is the root of personality disorders.

If I were to prepare a couple for marriage, something I feel eminently unqualified to do, I would ask both of the persons whether they are ready to respect and uphold the solitude of the other. Few things are worse than one person who takes away the solitude and identity of the other. So many times, we see in a film the nagging woman wanting the attention of the man who is in his laboratory engaged in some inspired work. She is trying to drag the man into the “conformity mould”, get him to work as a civil servant or an accountant – but yet the result would be a destroyed individuality and a failure of that lust for the man’s soul. I won’t be “sexist”, because the possessiveness roles can easily be reversed.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t get married (Anton Chekhov)

We all experience the same paradox. I remember the words of my brother a few years ago in regard to my Aspergers autism diagnosis – “You have to come to terms with it”. I would add a layer of understanding to these words. Terms – terms are words with meanings. This is a concept I find in technical translating, where words are used in special meanings by different fields of knowledge and practice. As this reflection is written with words, it is good to give definitions. Isolation comes from the Latin insula, meaning an island, as in John Donne’s No man is an island unto himself. Loneliness more implies the lack of companionship. Solitude comes from the Latin solus. This is a word that is often used in the liturgy to underline the uniqueness of God. Thou alone art holy. It can mean not only the absence of relationship but also the existential integrity of the subject.

For many years, I have grappled with the idea of otherness. Why are we all human, yet only have the experience of being ourselves? The other person seems to be alien (not from another planet, but simply other), yet we are a part of the same humanity. It reminds the theologian of the mystery of the Holy Trinity. Humanity and the person are just as mysterious and ineffable. The essential of our experience is to be alone, and this has to be accepted. Then comes the question of the limits of individualism and what can become selfishness and lack of respect and compassion for others. Whatever our moral obligations towards others, we are unique persons and respond to life differently. We cannot be another person, though we can and should experience a degree of empathy. Psychopathy is defined as the absence of empathy, which leads to inhumanity.

If our experience has diminished our belief in humanity, the work of reconstruction has to begin from oneself. The foundation is self-awareness, experience of God’s immanence as well as his transcendence. We live in a world of extraversion, of mass tourism, crowds and noise, “hanging out” with friends, the ideology of collectivism. Always being with others becomes overrated because of that notion that the object of desire is only in the ineffable other because we have nothing within ourselves.

Since childhood, I have been aware of the dangers of following the undifferentiated and unconscious herd, the mass, the current conformity fashion. Being capable of being alone, at least at times, enables us to live consciously, to develop that nobility of spirit of which we read in minds like Berdyaev and Thomas Mann. Solitude is the only thing that can heal our wounds and make our personalities mature.

Carl Gustav Jung describes this process as individuation, probably the one concept that was most understood by the Romantics. Each of us is alone to have our combination of skills, talents, personality and experience. I am frightened to be speaking with a stranger and find that this person is as alien to me as I am to him. What does this do to groupthink? I am amazed to see how corporate decisions can be so lacking in basic common sense and rationality. Collectivity brings stupidity, unless the group is made up of mature individuals. We can only become mature individuals by being ourselves, beginning with solitude.

Solitude brings strength and divine grace. We have to be strong to endure solitude and loneliness, to find our creative energies and sense of purpose. Others may be struggling with their meaning of life, certainly because they have looked for it in other people, who cannot give it to them except at best in a distorted form of an ideology.

The experience is painful. It leads many to serious errors like a poorly founded marriage, or “getting in with the wrong set”. No one else can do it for us, not for all the money in the world. We have to assume responsibility and rely on our own resources. No one else can understand what is within us any more than what is at the bottom of the ocean or on another planet. The only advice possible is in the form of general principles or platitudes at worst. This is how we grow up and acquire resilience and true stoicism.

The answers do not always come quickly. Our society is not given to waiting. Patience is a forgotten virtue. We often feel we are not getting anywhere, and often have to reculer pour bien sauter – the notion in the noble sport of fencing of taking a step back to make a better attack. I have learned many things about depression and differences between true clinical depression the falls under the competence of professionals and the results of binary and all-or-nothing thinking. We often have to go to those dark moments to find the light of our spark of divinity. Our only way is finding what lies within ourselves and facing it without the fog induced by seeking our “supply” from others, chemical substances or other extrinsic forms of stimulation.

This work is not navel-gazing but doing things that are both necessary (earning our living for example) and pleasurable (making things, reading and study, music, sports, whatever). The important thing is being ourselves. Of course, this will alienate us from the herd and the expectations of others. It is the work of heroes. I make no such claim, nor do I want to rely on human forces that will inevitably let me down. Why make the effort? We become less “in need” in our relationships with friends and family, more honest and aware. As the Americans say, we cut the crap.

As we grow, we become less dependent on that need for “supply” to compensate for our interior emptiness. Perhaps that mystery of “otherness” can be resolved in a new way, as unity of persons transcends nature – think of those old dogmatic lectures on the Trinity. Personhood exists at another level from crude individuality.

We become more authentic by being ourselves. Friendships become founded on higher principles. We develop a more ethical and moral sense of doing the right thing. If we are involved with other people, we like to do so on a basis of clarity of saying what we mean and meaning what we say. We stop looking elsewhere for authority and validation. This is particularly important in a world that seems to be sliding back to the 1920’s and a new era of ideologies and dictatorships.

Being creative will fill us with energy, doing the things we enjoy as well as things that can enable us to earn our living, at least to an extent. Our society is sick, to the extent that being sick is the “new normal”. We have to react against that ant colony and its bullshit. Solitude will bring us independence of mind, self-sufficiency and being able to resist the anthill and be ourselves.

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Settling in…

Posted on Sunday, 9 May, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

The settling-in process is coming on. It is the prerequisite for being able to take life in hand and return to writing and making videos. I built my bookshelves last week, and there are just as many in shelves the other side of the room, and in a bookcase above my bed head. This is my bedroom, but also the library and sewing room. This is a small house, so two of the three rooms are multi-purpose. Only the oratory is exclusively dedicated to worship and sacristy.

I am presently working on my workshop which has been a real mess. The floor is beaten earth. Perhaps I will put planks in, but not yet on my budget. The building needs good ventilation, otherwise it will get damp and the tools will go rusty! Ora et labora – the workshop is just as important as the oratory.

The library will need radical sorting according to subject, and that is a job in itself. My office is downstairs and shares the space with the kitchen, refectory and music room (where the organ is going – more on that in the coming weeks). This is where I earn my living and do other writing work.

I have not yet fitted the curtains, but they are on the way. I need to cut them to length and sew the hems, then put up the curtain rails and rings. That will give a little less austerity to the rooms. The oratory will not have curtains on the window.

For music, the pipe organ is not yet reassembled. It also needs a modification to the case because of the lower ceiling. The 8ft stopped bass needs lowering and the conveyances lengthened. It will be quite a challenge. I have a MIDI keyboard which plugs into my computer which has the programme Grand Orgue which is similar to Hauptwerk. The principle is that the sound of each and every pipe of an organ is recorded in *.wav format. The result is as imperfect as a pipe organ and the result is impressive, and unlike most electronic organs, even digital ones. If I ever receive the visit of an organist friend, we could play Antonio Soler’s Seis Conciertos para dos órganos.

All this home-making is important, just like anyone else, for personal stability and a sense of belonging even in the quasi-absence of social life. I have yet to sail this year. Weather in April and May so far has been mediocre and my time has been taken up with removing my possessions from my home in Normandy to bring them to this lovely corner of the Mayenne. I started the process in about mid-March, buying large quantities of cardboard boxes and finding my rented lodgings and a removal firm with some help from my family. I have nearly all my things with me, which is a blessing in such a situation.

I feel more settled, though it will take time before this house is shipshape and Bristol and I can think about more books, articles and videos. Already, these blog articles of my new life are being posted, and they represent my social life as a human being and my ministry as a priest. One by one, the tasks are being done. I will be getting my second Covid shot in June from my old doctor in Yvetot. I hope and pray that this and millions of other vaccinations will bring the virus to become no more harmful than the common cold or the seasonal flu. The pandemic still impedes travel and many things I would like to do in England.

My little Sarum group will certainly organise a Zoom meeting, because we need to motivate each other and get more of an impression of working as a team, each with our particularities of publishing, academic work, the philosophical and cultural context and so much more to revive a notion of the liturgy in the wider Catholic world that has largely fallen into desuetude since the Reformation and Counter-Reformation. This is just one example of a true priestly ministry as a solitary.

The work goes on. I am about to go and say Mass for this fifth Sunday after Easter, the last before the Ascension and Whit Sunday. I will be doing more workshop this afternoon, the coarse work before the fine-tuning and making of more shelves for tools and materials. It is the same in the library and especially in the downstairs room. I am going for my “new” (second-hand) fridge this afternoon to replace the one I have just scrapped because it was freezing the contents and couldn’t be adjusted. Little by little. Every situation needs careful analysis and anticipation, something I learned during my harpsichord-making course back in the 1970’s.

Your prayers are appreciated as I rebuild my life and learn from the past.

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New Oratory

Posted on Friday, 30 April, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

I have already posted these photos to Facebook to announce the “birth” of a new oratory in my little house near Ambrières les Vallées in the Mayenne. I have resumed the dedication to St Martin of Tours of my old chapel in the Vendée. Interestingly enough, the Vendée and the Mayenne are part of the Pays de la Loire. The fatherhood of the holy Bishop of Tours is a part of this area, though my present home is barely out of western Normandy.

I use the term oratory to mean a place of prayer as opposed to a mission or a parish church. I make no pretence to any relationship with the Oratory of St Philip Neri, though I have a great admiration for the Fathers and the spirituality mapped out by the extremely eccentric Apostle of Rome. This is the intimate heart of my life as a priest and a contemplative. I keep an image of St Philip Neri near my stall.

I made the altar when I was in my old home in the Vendée (until 2005). The sacristy  needs elements still in cardboard boxes somewhere in my workshop or in the two large tents I pitched in the garden for temporary storage. I made this altar when I was still under the influence (not of drugs) but my time at Gricigliano, though I went more for Renaissance simplicity than flamboyant baroque. I have had to forsake the “Dearmer” style for lack of space. I intend to make some altar frontals. I will offer the first Mass on Saturday, Feast of Saints Philip and James.

The chapel is installed in a tiny upstairs room with the altar to the side to avoid blocking the window. The single choir stall faces the altar, and the rest of the room is taken up by the sacristy. Without any physical barrier between the chapel and the sacristy, the room is divided into two.

This oratory is not intended to receive churchgoers, but is a my private place of prayer and liturgy. Should a ministry be needed in the future, it would be possible to look into an outside place for a mission and I could provide the altar (presently dismantled) from the chapel in Normandy. A chaque jour suffit sa peine…

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Oratoire Saint-Martin

Posted on Wednesday, 28 April, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

Here is a brief posting to replace an earlier one which expressed a lack of prudence on my part. The most I will say is that I am now separated and many things remain in the air. In the meantime, I have a new rented home in the Mayenne and will make the best I can of life.

This experience has brought home to me the idea of self-reliance and taking responsibility. There is no place for “quietism”! My life will be centred around the little oratory (place of prayer) where I have an altar to celebrate Mass, the workshop and my office and library all over the house.

I hope to continue my ministry of study and writing, promoting the practical revival of the use / rite of Sarum and an authentic contemplative life without delusion or pretension. St Martin’s Oratory will also be a kind of “sanatorium” to recover from many things I fail to understand fully myself. The essential is to take everything day by day, baby steps in this kind of “re-birth”.

These little limbs,
These eyes and hands which here I find,
These rosy cheeks wherewith my life begins,
Where have ye been? behind
What curtain were ye from me hid so long?
Where was, in what abyss, my speaking tongue?

When silent I
So many thousand, thousand years
Beneath the dust did in a chaos lie,
How could I smiles or tears,
Or lips or hands or eyes or ears perceive?
Welcome ye treasures which I now receive.

I that so long
Was nothing from eternity,
Did little think such joys as ear or tongue
To celebrate or see:
Such sounds to hear, such hands to feel, such feet,
Beneath the skies on such a ground to meet.

New burnished joys,
Which yellow gold and pearls excel!
Such sacred treasures are the limbs in boys,
In which a soul doth dwell;
Their organizèd joints and azure veins
More wealth include than all the world contains.

From dust I rise,
And out of nothing now awake;
These brighter regions which salute mine eyes,
A gift from God I take.
The earth, the seas, the light, the day, the skies,
The sun and stars are mine if those I prize.

Long time before
I in my mother’s womb was born,
A God, preparing, did this glorious store,
The world, for me adorn.
Into this Eden so divine and fair,
So wide and bright, I come His son and heir.

A stranger here
Strange things doth meet, strange glories see;
Strange treasures lodged in this fair world appear,
Strange all and new to me;
But that they mine should be, who nothing was,
That strangest is of all, yet brought to pass. – Thomas Traherne

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Sarabande for the Morning of Easter

Posted on Sunday, 4 April, 2021 by Fr Anthony Chadwick

One of the glories of Herbert Howells to wish all my readers a happy Easter. I will shortly be going to my chapel to restore the Blessed Sacrament to its place in the hanging pyx above the altar from where it has lain in the Sepulchre since Good Friday (Use of Sarum). That little ceremony will be followed by Mass.

May this Easter bring us all increased faith and hope in these times of uncertainty and the continued scourge of the coronavirus.

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