Two weeks ago, John Bruce was appointed as CEO of the seminary formation plant in Los Angeles and chief intelligence officer against the proliferation of original ideas, especially those of Anglican influence. He and his team are ensuring products of excellent quality for the diocesan clergy, suitably purified from latent Anglicanism. Marketing and profits are at an all-time high. This is his new article – But Is It A Consistent Product? for examination by the corporate steering committee with its new Project Manager Mr Mickey Drivel.
The trainees for the priesthood are now subjected to Failure Mode Effects Analysis (FMEA). The method is applied in some religious orders and other diocesan seminaries as potential failure modes and effects analysis; failure modes, effects and criticality analysis (FMECA).
Failure modes and effects analysis (FMEA) is a step-by-step approach for identifying all possible failures in theology, liturgical preferences or dress. Failure modes are any errors or deviances from the norm, especially ones that affect the paying, praying and obeying client in parishes, and can be potential or actual.
Effects analysis refers to studying the consequences of those failures, especially persisting Anglicanism manifested through liturgical preferences or deviant personalities in the event of exposure to Continuing Anglican Churches. These errors are usually remedied through re-education camps, but usually the seminarian has to be rejected.
Failures are prioritized according to how serious their consequences are, how frequently they occur and how easily they can be detected. The purpose of the FMEA is to take actions to eliminate or reduce failures, starting with the highest-priority ones. The very worst problems are liturgical and ecclesiological, along with ideas assimilated to Romanticism. Failure modes and effects analysis also documents current knowledge and actions about the risks of failures, for use in continuous improvement. If people can be arrested by the police for “pre-crime”, it is that no human risk may be taken. This analysis is performed by an evaluation team to decide which seminarians will be ordained on the basis of actual and potential criteria according to the risk evaluation.
This method is used during clergy training or re-education to prevent failures of absolute compliance. Later, it is used for control, before and during ongoing operation of the process. Ideally, FMEA begins during the earliest conceptual stages of evaluation and continues throughout the life of each priest.
Mr Bruce has devised a number of ways to process the waste products from the ordinariates and continuing churches. They are processed by a cross-functional team of people with diverse knowledge about Argentinian Jesuit theology, adaptation to boredom and the needs of deadpan American parish life.
The process can be very detailed, for example using flowcharts for that extra bit of relevance and to identify the scope and to make sure every team member understands it in detail.
More adventures from Mickey Drivel next week…